Greenbrook TMS Patient Journeys: Josephine

Josephine is a 67 year old retired teacher from Missouri. She completed treatment with Greenbrook TMS six months ago. We spoke with her to learn more about how she found her way to Greenbrook TMS and what life has been like since completing treatment.

My father died in 1996. I was just so sad, and as the sadness left me as time went on, the general sadness of depression continued. And that’s what I couldn’t figure out. Even though I was on Prozac I continued to be sad. It worked for a little while and my doctor kept switching my antidepressants but over the course of decades nothing really helped. I would still suffer bouts of depression. I remember experiencing depression at one point where I couldn’t even talk, which was probably the most painful experience I had because I was totally non-functional. I would have much preferred a serious physical disease because depression is just so misunderstood and just so debilitating.

When I moved to St Louis, I happened to go on the internet and found you. I read about TMS therapy and I thought okay, why not give it a try? I must admit that I was skeptical that it would work, I really really was. But I was at my wit’s end.

The medications just weren’t working. Even when I had good events or the uplifting spirits that holidays bring, I wasn’t feeling that. 

I had gone through a lot of changes and all the stressors of moving and I thought, I have to take action. I can’t do this myself.

I noticed a difference after two weeks, it was unbelievable. I quit crying, I had a real lift in my mood, and I started telling everybody about it. My close friends would remark and compliment me and say “Wow! That’s our old Josie.” They were very sweet. I couldn’t be more pleased. It was helpful when I would go into the office to talk to people going through the same thing. I remember one older gentleman who would come in the same time I did, and I just noticed that he started smiling more and talking to me more. He became more cheery.

When I was in the waiting room, I would go at the same time every morning for treatment and I felt like I was in a cohort group because some people would come in at 10 or 11 am and I would run into them every day. I would ask them how they’re doing and we had all sort of connected. And they were all doing really well, too—people of all ages. It really gave me hope.

I used to get tremendous pleasure out of reading, but I’d given that up. Now I’m back to reading again. I enjoy those simple pleasures. It’s not like I have to win the lottery to be happy. I just became more active, I went back to my fitness habits, I enjoyed cooking again, entertaining friends. It really helped me socially. I remember that I wanted to be with people. By nature I’m an introvert but that sort of changed. I talk to people more often, even strangers. And it was fun! It gave me more fun in my life. I don’t know how you quantify “fun” but on a fun scale I really really went up. And I noticed it truly after 2 weeks. I really noticed that I became more honest with people. I was able to explain my depression. Before I was ashamed of it but I no longer felt ashamed because I was proud of my improvement.

I had wonderful Technicians that were very kind and entertaining, so every 20 minute session would go by so fast and I really looked forward to them because I had this attitude that with every session, I was getting better. 

And the TMS technicians were so good at explaining everything to me, and they talked me through everything. I felt like we were a team. It was very important to me to have that connection with them. All of them were excellent people.

They weren’t always the same people but I knew them by name but they really believed in the treatment and that helped me believe in the treatment. So kudos to them! They were so committed to it, I could feel it. It wasn’t just a job to them. It made me feel normal. I didn’t just give them answers they wanted to hear, but I told them the truth.

Now when I face situational depression, I’m able to recognize it and say “this too shall pass” because everyone faces tragic events and stressors in their lives and then it goes away. I’m able to recognize the difference between ongoing depression and situational depression. I just feel stronger and I’m able to bounce back in a rational way. It really helps to know that depression is a brain malfunction. It’s not that something is wrong with me emotionally, but it’s hereditary in my family. I’m not unique-- other people go though this too.

If I’d known about this before, I would have gotten treatment sooner. I had gotten to the point where I was hopeless. I’d just tried everything. I’ve come to realize that antidepressants aren’t cookie-cutter. Everyone’s brain is different. I consider myself a well-balanced person but this depression was just a plague that went on for decades.

I couldn’t brag more about the results. I’m off all of my antidepressant medications. If my depression ever comes back, I wouldn’t hesitate to go back to Greenbrook TMS.