855-940-4867
Greenbrook Logo

Greenbrook TMS Patient Journeys: Sophia

Daniel Hageman 

"Over the years, I saw different psychiatrists and therapists, and over the years I’ve tried 52 different medications. I felt like I was spending my life at the pharmacy."

Sophia is 54 years old and lives in Maryland. She completed Greenbrook TMS Therapy at our Tyson's Center. We spoke with her to learn more about how she found her way to Greenbrook TMS and what life has been like since completing treatment.

When did depression first start for you?

I’d had it my whole life. It was in the days before children were diagnosed with depression, anxiety, or other conditions but that’s what it was. I’d had some traumatic events happen in my life when I was younger. At school I’d be sitting in the corner in a stupor, not talking with the other children. My parents would have to come pick me up. When my father died when I was a teenager, it really turned into full-blown depression. And over the years I had different life events that made it a lot worse. When I was working, I remember many times driving to work and parking as far away as I could from my coworkers so that I could call my mother on the phone and bawl, asking How am I going to get through this day? How am I going to do this? Nobody would have known about my depression at work, because I was always happy, but I’d come home and crash and burn.

When did you first start taking antidepressants?

The first medication I took was when Prozac came out when I was in college, around 1985. It helped a little bit but I never felt great. I always worked really hard in school because I was constantly stressed out and had a lot of anxiety. I ended up graduating as valedictorian and commencement speaker because I was a big perfectionist and studied so hard. I had such bad anxiety and depression, so it was a really big achievement for me. A lot of the time I put on a happy face because I don’t want to burden people with my problems or tell them about my depression most of the time. Even when I was in inpatient programs, I had other patients ask me why I was there because I don’t “act like a depressed person.” I always keep it very private.

Over the years, I saw different psychiatrists and therapists, and over the years I’ve tried 52 different medications. I felt like I was spending my life at the pharmacy. I’m very medication resistant. I even had a consultation with one of the head people over at the National Institutes of Health who created some of these medications. I’ve tried every avenue, including Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT). After a while, you just lose hope.

Not only am I resistant to medications, it also takes me longer than most people to see any benefits from the medication. So for me, they end up working either very little or not at all. I’m always on the far end of effectiveness. I did 11 ECT treatments but ended up stopping it because I felt like I was getting worse, believe it or not. I felt like I was getting more depressed and it messed with my memory for a while. I didn’t feel like I was making positive progression, so I stopped.

How did you first learn about TMS Therapy?

I happened upon TMS Therapy by chance online, just while looking into other depression treatments. The first thing that happened was I found the book 3,000 Pulses Later , a memoir about depression and TMS Therapy. I started learning more about the treatment and did more research. I was desperate to try anything that had a half a chance of working. After you’ve been on so many medications, you really start losing hope. I was really losing hope but I was trying to keep an open mind.

When did TMS Therapy start working for you?

When I started treatment with Greenbrook TMS, knowing myself, I thought it would be two months before I noticed any difference. But I honestly could tell the difference after the first treatment, with my anxiety. I get treated for both anxiety and depression. For years, I would open my eyes in the morning and I would have heart palpitations, frozen in my bed. Throughout the day the anxiety would snowball and the depression would twist in there too. And the next day after my first TMS Therapy treatment, the anxiety was better when I woke up.

Now, I’m not quite as overwhelmed by everyday activities and I’m more able to do activities, like family events. Before, I’d feel too depressed to do them, but I noticed that I’m able to get to them more easily and to be happier. The few people that knew I was doing treatment could tell the difference in my personality. My internist even said I seemed so happy and smiley, that there was a big difference.

How do you handle stressors now?

The other day I was supposed to meet someone for lunch but I was feeling kind of down and I didn’t want to go. But I ended up going, and I noticed that it was a little easier to persevere and push through. And once I went, of course I was fine and I had fun. But I’ve just becoming more self-aware of things like that, that I’m able to push myself a little bit harder to get through to the other side. Being more self-aware of bad habits where a routine problem would get me overwhelmed, I’d feel like I’m so dumb that I can’t get through this silly problem. Now I’m more self-aware and can tell myself that I can get through it, that it happens to everyone and not just me. I’m becoming more aware of my not-great habits and trying to turn them around. That was a big problem I would have, where I’d ask myself, Why me? Why does this happen to me? And now I’m trying to get out of that.

What would you say to someone considering TMS?

I believe in TMS Therapy so much. If anyone could be a testimonial for TMS, I feel like I could.

 

I’ve had depression and anxiety, I’ve been on medication and ECT, I’ve met with the top people at NIH, I’ve been inpatient, I’ve done group therapy, private therapy. I’ve done everything and nothing really helped. And Greenbrook TMS helped. If that can work for me, I think it can work for other people because I’ve tried it all.

 

You can drive yourself to your treatments and it’s not like when you get ECT and someone needs to drive you there. You can go during lunch or after work and it doesn’t interfere the way an outpatient procedure does. There’s no real side effects, maybe you might get a headache. Nothing bad can come from it. Only good.

Let's see if we might be a good fit

Take our 6 question quiz to see if TMS therapy could be right for you

Take the quiz

Share this post

We're Better Together

Subscribe for mental health, self-care, and TMS therapy updates for those affected by treatment-resistant depression or OCD.

Contact Us

By providing your email address, you are consenting to receive blog updates from Greenbrook TMS Inc. You may unsubscribe from these alerts at any time by following the “unsubscribe” link at the bottom of email alerts. At Greenbrook TMS Inc. we take the privacy and security of your personal information seriously. To learn more about how we protect your personal information, please refer to our Privacy Policy.

You might also like

28 Feb, 2023
You may feel isolated and alone when you have clinical depression, and depression also affects your relationships with family and friends. While the primary focus of your treatment is to improve your mental health, it’s also essential to understand your loved ones may experience their own issues as they try to support you. An understanding of how depression affects relationships can help everyone maintain healthy connections and navigate problems. Here are some of the ways depression may affect the people in your support network.
20 Jan, 2023
Our free mental health calendar for 2023 includes mental health awareness events, holidays, self-care activities, and a monthly 30 second mental health checkup!
19 Jan, 2023
We’ve all heard the common health-related misconceptions or myths-- chocolate causes acne, carrots will improve your night vision, and cracking your knuckles gives you arthritis. Subscribing to these particular myths is relatively harmless, but other health-related misconceptions can have far more serious consequences. This is the case for depression—the myths surrounding it can prevent people from getting the help they need. This is the case for depression—the myths surrounding it can prevent people from getting the help they need. Because untreated depression can have a serious physical and psychological impact, it’s imperative to have the right information in order to make the best decisions for yourself and for your health. Here are 5 common misconceptions about depression, and the facts behind them:
20 Dec, 2022
Starting any medical treatment for the first time can leave you with questions, especially if you’re looking forward to the benefits it may bring. It’s no different when you’re preparing for your nasal esketamine treatment. Your previous mental health treatments may have consisted solely of taking antidepressants at home or visiting a therapist’s office for cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), so nasal esketamine is probably a new treatment experience for you. If you're wondering what it's like to start nasal esketamine and get ready for your first session, keep reading. Getting Started with the Nasal Esketamine Treatment As with any new treatment, you’ll first talk to your primary care provider or psychiatrist about whether nasal esketamine is a good fit for you. Alternatively, you can schedule your esketamine nasal spray consultation with a treatment center (such as Greenbrook) that has certification by the FDA’s Risk Evaluation and Mitigation Strategy (REMS). At Greenbrook's REMS-certified nasal esketamine treatment centers, our Greenbrook-affiliated psychiatrists and psychiatric nurse practitioners will review your medical history and also conduct our own assessment to help determine whether nasal esketamine treatment is right for you. Certain conditions, including blood vessel disease and a history of psychosis, may make treatment a risk for you. Make sure you discuss all previous and present conditions with your doctor or nasal esketamine provider before beginning treatment. If the medication is deemed a good fit, you’ll receive your prescription from the Greenbrook-affiliated provider. Your Greenbrook Care Team will put together a personalized care plan for the weeks and months to follow. Keep in mind that you will need to take a standard (oral) antidepressant along with your nasal esketamine treatment. There are two important regulations to note when it comes to preparing for treatment: Each treatment is followed by a mandatory two-hour observation period. This means you will need to plan to stay at the center for at least two hours following your self-administration of the esketamine nasal spray. You cannot drive during the rest of the day after treatment and must arrange for transportation. These regulations are mandatory. It may be helpful to sit down and plan out several weeks’ worth of transportation once you know your treatment schedule. In addition, if you’re wondering what to bring for the treatment, we recommend entertainment such as an audiobook or playlist of favorite songs and a pair of headphones. You may want them during the two-hour observation period. What to Expect During Nasal Esketamine Treatment On the day of treatment, you’ll need to stop eating any food two hours before your appointment and stop drinking all fluids 30 minutes before you come in. Your Greenbrook Care Team will confirm that you are prepared for the two-hour observation period and that you have a ride home. You’ll get the opportunity to practice using a “trainer sprayer” that mimics the real nasal esketamine sprayer but does not release any medication. The Care Team will encourage you to use the restroom and set up your preferred environment in your private treatment bay or room. Some patients like reduced lighting, for example, while others don’t request light adjustments. You’ll complete a depression scale before each treatment session. Your Greenbrook provider will confirm that the dose kit is yours, show you how to administer it, and then hand it to you. Each sprayer contained 28mg of Spravato esketamine nasal spray. Patients usually start with two sprayers (56mg) and soon increase to 84mg (three sprayers) per treatment. But, your dosage maybe vary. Should you be left with a metallic taste by the spray, the Care Team will offer suckers to help make the flavor dissipate. After your dose, you’ll be encouraged to lie back in your comfortable recliner. While most patients enjoy a quiet setting, Greenbrook is prepared to accommodate patients with a more animated reaction to the medication. You may feel sleepy, dizzy, mildly dissociated, and/or nauseated during treatment. Greenbrook's Care Team is readily available if you need assistance. How to Prepare for after your Nasal Esketamine Treatment  Most side effects begin to wane in the second hour of observation, but if you’re wondering, “Is it safe to drive immediately after nasal esketamine treatment?” the answer is a resounding no. In addition to the mandatory ride home, you will need to block off time to rest and let side effects fully dissipate. This extended rest period is especially important in the first weeks of treatment when you’ll have treatment twice a week. Do not drive or operate machinery of any kind until the day after treatment. Just take it easy, relax, and take care of yourself. If you’re unsure what activities you can do or should avoid during this time, talk to your Care Team for more information. While side effects tend to dissipate completely after a good night’s sleep, many nasal esketamine patients begin feeling relief from depression symptoms within hours of their treatment. Other Tips in Preparing for Your Nasal Esketamine Treatment At Greenbrook, we make every effort to schedule your treatment in the afternoons or whenever it is most convenient for you. We encourage you to see each treatment session as an opportunity to relax and take care of your mental health. If you have any questions or concerns, talk to your doctor or the Greenbrook Care Team. At Greenbrook, we’ll help you feel at ease when preparing for each treatment session. Schedule A Free Consultation To get started with nasal esketamine, schedule your free consultation today.
Share by: