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Dealing with Depression During the Holiday Season

Daniel Hageman 

The holiday season can be stressful and demanding under normal circumstances, but it can become downright excruciating when you are also suffering from depression. Unexpected inconveniences, family squabbles, forced holiday cheer, and alcoholic outbursts can cause a great deal of stress and bring up a sense of sadness and isolation.

The holiday season can be stressful and demanding under normal circumstances, but it can become downright excruciating when you are also   suffering from depression.   Unexpected inconveniences, family squabbles, forced holiday cheer, and alcoholic outbursts can cause a great deal of stress and bring up a sense of sadness and isolation.

What makes the holiday season so unbearable?

There are many reasons that can rob your holiday seasons of joy and satisfaction and it seems like once December hits they come at you in waves one after the other. Besides last minute shopping, there are a couple of triggers that can easily set off a depressive episode:

Life is not a Hallmark card:   we mentioned how the media has sugar-coated the holidays; when people truly believe that their lives should match those on TV we set up unrealistic expectations and are bound to be disappointed by the end results. So be cautious, be realistic, and understand that there will be a little stress and a little drama but try to make the most of it so that years later you’ll be able to look back at it and laugh it off.

Financial pressures:   companies know very well how to market their products around the holiday season and if you don’t keep track of expenses you can easily go over budget. Better to work on a budget before you head out and stick to it, might not be a bad idea to just bring cash with you. And hey, why not shop online and avoid angry crowds while you’re at it?

Toxic relatives:   we all have them in our families; an uncle who never learned to keep his thoughts to himself when drunk, or that aunt who enjoys comparing the success of each of their kids, a whining cousin, a needy in-law, a manipulative parent… If you can’t distance yourself from them it is best to know when to draw the line and tell your relatives how they are making everyone feel with their comments. Do it politely.

Drinking and medication:   This is a tricky one just because alcohol and holidays usually go hand in hand. Alcohol is a depressant and while it may help you calm down anxiety and depression symptoms momentarily it can also push you to do things you will regret later. It may also not be safe to abuse alcohol while taking medication. And while we’re on the subject of meds, don’t slack off and miss your doses during this hectic season.

You can’t please everyone:   you don’t want to be a burden on anyone or let your depression ruin the holidays for others and so you   put on your happy mask and pretend everything’s alright.   Don’t do that. Don’t put unnecessary pressure on yourself to be happy and rejoice. Don’t feel bad about saying no to an invitation. Take a break from the holidays if necessary.

The list inevitably goes on and on. Every person is different and will encounter different circumstances. Remember that   you are not the only one going through the holidays with a dark cloud around you. Talk to family members and friends and be honest about it; while some may not be able to grasp the severity of your situation the majority will at least give you some space if you need it. It’s a good idea to keep in mind that almost everyone gets days off around the holidays so find out if your counselor, therapist, or doctor will be available for you and if not, ask for advice on what you can do while he/she is away. They sometimes have support groups available or help lines open 24/7.

Don’t wait and isolate yourself until the hoopla is over. Some people think that by avoiding the holidays all together they won’t experience the “post-holiday blues”; nevertheless, being alone and with plenty of time to dwell on negative thoughts cannot be much fun either. Please be gentle with yourself and allow others to help you. It is, after all, the season of kindness and compassion.

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