I started having trouble with depression in the fourth grade. By the time I came to Greenbrook TMS, I’d tried probably nine or ten medications over the course of four or five years. My biggest problem was the dosage. Too low and it wouldn’t work. Too high and I’m really sensitive so I’d get really sick. Trying to figure out which medication would actually work and not make me sick was really hard. Being sensitive to medicine was a whole other dimension to the depression. Sometimes with the medication I felt more depressed or feel bi-polar. A few of them made me really sick—like I’d take it and 20 minutes later I couldn’t get out of bed without throwing up. Some of them made me really emotional. I’m already super emotional, so I’d just be crying all the time. Some of them just didn’t work and nothing changed.
I actually found about TMS Therapy from a Twitter article. I talked to my parents and went in for a consult. Three to four weeks into treatment, I started noticing that my sleep was getting gradually better. Around the halfway point they raised the number of pulses I was getting and it really started working. For nine years before this, I thought about suicide every day. Literally everyday. One day, I stopped thinking about. And I haven’t thought about it since. It’s a huge weight lifted off your shoulders. I almost can’t believe it.
I’m in college and I work as a server, and I noticed that at work I still get frustrated but now I handle it better. I used to get frustrated and just walk away, or react badly faster than I should. Now I’m more calm and I handle things a lot better. My eating habits are better and I don’t have to force myself to eat. I’m motivated to do homework, which I used to never do. My anxiety has always been rooted in my depression but I’m able to control it more and it’s not as bad as it used to be. Since Greenbrook TMS, I have more control over how I react to things and my emotions. I used to not care and just react however my depression wanted me to, but now I’m able to control it more.
I basically did a 180 on my life. Everything’s changed. The way I look at things and how I act and spend my energy on other things and not on just trying to keep myself alive. Its indescribable.